Lately, seeing patients has really taken a toll on me. The need of parents to “quick-fix” their child that very likely has spent many years getting to the situation that they are currently in (perhaps aggression, depression, etc) has really been weighing on me. I sympathize with parents of difficult children, I really do. This past weekend, every time I had an enjoyable moment with my own children (or a moment of peace away from my own children), I thought of the families I see that do not get such luxuries. It was quite difficult; I was not able to enjoy even the littlest of moments with my family.
In the past, I had spent much time looking into non-clinical careers and I’m at it again. However, nothing ever seems to be “attainable”, even for me, a board-certified physician. Everything seems that it is outside of my area of expertise, everything except clinical care. But today, and actually for several weeks, I’ve just been feeling more and more that I will not last in this career. I won’t make it at the rate it’s going. I need an out, but what? And most importantly, what’s an out that will still allow me to pay off my student loans? This may sound like burn-out to some of you wiser ladies. And it very well may be, and maybe if I just took a step back and re-assessed the situation I would feel differently. But the reality is that I disliked medical school, residency, fellowship, and now attending life. All the while, I told myself it would be better; that I picked a good career; that I had a good job; that I was able to live comfortably with decent hours of work; that at least I didn’t hate what I did (I do not hate child psychiatry, when parents are reasonable); and most importantly, I always told myself, “It will get better one day” and one day hasn’t come. Is all of my life going to be tolerating what my job is, or will I ever be excited to go to work? What kind of career would that even be for me to be excited to go to work? So I wanted to ask you ladies. Have you ever considered a career away from medicine? What did you consider? Why didn’t you do it (or if you did, how’s it going??) I know I’m not alone in this. How can we help each other?Share this Post