Why IVF patients need to make their own decisions

One of the hardest things for IVF patients to do is to make decisions. When their IVF cycle fails, they are not sure whether they should use their own eggs; or donor eggs; or donor sperm; or surrogacy. It can be very confusing , and because patients are not medical experts , they want a doctor to make these decisions for them.

However, these decisions shouldn’t be made by doctors , because it’s such a personal choice , and will affect the rest of the patient’s life. Yes, it’s very easy for the doctor to tell the patient what to do, but the patient cannot abdicate this responsibility and allow the doctor to make these decisions.

The job of the doctor , as a medical professional, is to make sure that he offers all the choices to the patient , and makes sure that the patient does not make the wrong choice –  a choice based on incomplete or incorrect medical information . However, the truth is that   there are no right or wrong choices – whichever choice the patient makes is the right choice for her. Patients have to decide for themselves, and the job of the doctor is to be supportive and offer non-directive counseling, so they can do what they feel is right for them.

The reality is that it can be very hard to make some of these decisions. Because of the dramatic advances in reproductive medical technology, there is a dazzling variety of choices in front of the patient , and this can be very confusing. Patients are often paralysed because they don’t know how to select the right one. They can use donor eggs, donor sperm, donor embryos , or do surrogacy. There’s a wide choice of mix and match options, and patients are not sure what to do,

They expect the doctor to make this decision for them, because he is the medical expert, but often these are very personal preferences, and the doctor is not a mind reader. That’s why it’s the patient’s responsibility to explore all the options, understand the medical facts , and then apply their own mind and decide , based on their personal preferences , what to do.

You have to use your head and you have to use your heart as well, because you need to live with the consequence of the decision. The reality is that the decision you make is right for you. There is no right or wrong decision. Every decision has pros and cons, you need to weigh this, you need to be systematic about it, and more importantly you need to have peace of mind that you’ve thought about it and made the decision which both your head and heart said was right for you.

You can download the IVF comic book free at https://www.drmalpani.com/pdf/IVF_COMIC_BOOK.pdf and this will help you make better decisions ! Or you can send me your medical details by filling in the form at www.drmalpani.com/free-second-opinion so that I can guide you !